No, she is not pregnant again, you can relax….
As we head into Mother’s Day weekend, I thought I would write a little about the best mother that I know: my wonderful wife, Tammy. She is not going to be happy that I am writing about her here, but, well, I am changing all my passwords for the foreseeable future (which means that I will never remember the new password so this might be my last post ever—if that is the case, it has been nice knowing you), so she can’t do anything about it.
Even though I am not very religious at all, I know that I am married to a saint. It is not all that tough to figure it out since I hear “You know, you’re wife is a saint” (or a slight derivation thereof) at least a couple times a week. Despite what some might think, she is not a saint because she puts up with me (although that would most likely be enough). No, it goes much further than that. First, everyone I know thinks that Tammy is simply the nicest person on the planet.
And she is.
She is the quintessential middle (Asian) child–she gets along with everyone and everyone adores her. As they should. Whenever the two of us get into an argument (which is quite rare) I never get any sympathy–everyone knows that I must be in the wrong since, after all, Tammy is the nicest person on the planet.
And she is.
The reason that she is a saint, however, has very little to do with any of this. No, she is a saint because of her day job. I often joke that it does not matter what I do for a career, since my wife will always “win”.
I could work to eliminate nuclear weapons. I could achieve peace in the Middle East. I could “cure” famine or “eradicate” poverty. All noble achievements, all perhaps worthy of sainthood.
But they would pail in comparison to my lovely wife.
Why?
My wife is a pediatric oncologist.
I know what you just thought: “Oh my, that must be so hard.” Or some derivation of that, perhaps invoking the name of your preferred deity. That is almost the universal reaction, so you are not alone.
But it doesn’t stop there.
She specializes in brain tumors.
Nor does it stop there.
She is also the head of the Palliative Care Advanced Team at the hospital, which, in short, assists terminally ill children who are near the end of their lives.
Whoa.
Usually, when I explain what she does I just have to mention the first part (pediatric oncologist) and after the “Oh my God, that has to be so hard” we move on. Most people, I figure, are like me and find it very difficult to imagine (much less talk about) children getting cancer, or even worse, needing end of life care.
[I have been known to use this to my advantage while at parties, trying to get away from a rather boring conversation, wanting to get more wine: “Oh, that’s interesting. My wife deals with dying kids. Excuse me.” In case you were wondering, I know I am going straight to hell.]
I wish I could be more supportive and ask her how her day was, or who called at 2:30 in the morning, but I have learned not to ask–I am not nearly as strong as she is and can’t begin to take it all in.
[This, of course, could all be a ruse and she is having some sort of torrid affair, complete with an undecipherable language filled with impressive acronyms, requiring a conspiracy of epic proportions. OK, probably not.]
If that were not enough, she is also the best mother that her boys could ever want. It never ceases to amaze me how she never allows her work to come home and affect her relationship with our two little knuckleheads. She is always there for them: to tend to a skinned knee, to make sure they eat their green beans, to crawl into bed with them when they have a bad dream.
So yes, my wife is a saint and the absolute best mother I know. We will try and do something special for her this weekend, but there is no doubt that it will not be enough to show her what she means to the three of us. I will use this as an excuse to go into the basement and grab a bottle of wine.
Back to normal.
the drunken cyclist 
Beautiful!
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Thanks! A beautiful subject….
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Bravo!!!! You rock! Both if you.
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Merci Charlotte! Il faut venir vous voir au resto, mais il est pratiquement impossible d’obtenir une résa chez vous!
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She really is an impressive human being.
For Mother’s Day, I think you should pop one of her own favorites and toast to her also on our behalf!
I bow to Tammy.
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Thanks Stefano! Will certainly pop some corks this weekend…
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What a fantastic tribute to your wife. She truly is a saint.
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Thanks, she deserves it and so much more…
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You had me teary-eyed about her and I don’t even know her! She certainly sounds like an extraordinary woman!
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She gets that a lot…
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You know Tammy’s a Saint don’t you?
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Um, yup….
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Huge credits to your nice wife! …. and a HUGE credit for you as well, for being such a nice husband: to honour her in this way and share this with all of us!!! Good luck to both of you!
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Aw, shucks. Thanks for the kind words! But she deserves all the credit (and then some)!
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That blog post is a pretty good present. Happy Mom’s Day to the Top Doc!
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Thanks Laura! To you as well!
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That is a strength I do not have. Those children are blessed to have someone like her.
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You certainly hit the nail on the head there. I could never, ever do what she does for those kids and families.
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That is an incredibly important service she provides to children and their families-something to be truly thankful for. Happy Mother’s Day to her! Now I’m wondering about more of the story…how on earth to manage to marry a saint? It’s nice to see you appreciate her like you do 🙂
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How to marry a saint? That is a good question. It seems like my saint does not have the best taste in men, so that certainly helped….
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Nice! Cheers to you both!
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Thanks so much!
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Wow, what an awesome post and wonderful woman! That’s an amazing line of work that involves a ton of dedication – in the past and in the present and future. At one point I thought of doing a fictional post on my wife and make her out to be a Walmart bathroom attendant or something like that. I chose life. (not that she reads my blog, but better safe than sorry.)
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Yeah, if I thought my wife actually read my blog, I would have buttered her up a bit more!
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I totally understand why you don’t ask her about her day– I had a friend who got her Master’s Degree as a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner, and then found out she wasn’t tough enough to take working in children’s hospitals. (She went to work in a “normal” kids pediatric clinic, dealing with ear infections and coughs).
Impressive woman, your wife. How did you get her to marry you? (And I don’t mean that facetiously, although you’ll probably give me a smarty-butt answer anyway.)
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I really don’t know how anybody is able to keep going–I am certainly not tough enough–but she seems to thrive (although it does get to her from time to time). As for how I got her to marry me?
I drugged her.
Honestly though, I ask myself everyday that same question and I can’t come up with an answer. I just know I am a very lucky man….
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It’s a wonderful thing when people feel fortunate to be married to the people they’re married to… I feel that way, too. Even after 20 years.
The more I probe it, the more convinced I become that there is no answer to the mystery of how it happens.
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that’s it. officially, i love this post. not only do you say that you love your wife, but you gush over her. yes. i love this post.
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Thanks! If you knew my wife, you would gush over her too!
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