Sebastian is our fifteen-year-old son and he says some of the funniest things–we have no idea where he gets his material since his mother and I are rather boring, serious people. 

Not too long ago, Sebastian and I ran into a former classmate of his (she transferred to another school at the start of ninth grade). It turns out that said former classmate is the cousin of one Beyoncé Knowles (yes, that Beyoncé).

After they greeted one another and she left, I decided to prod him a bit.

Me: “Why didn’t you hang out more with her when she was at your school.”

Sebastian: “Bruh.”

Me: “Does she have much contact with Beyoncé? Do you think they text each other?”

Seba: “Bruh.”

Me: “Imagine that. She texts Beyoncé like you text your cousin, Kendall.”

Seba: “Bruh. I would text Kendall a whole lot more if she was Beyoncé.”