Sebastian is our seventeen-year-old son, and he says some of the funniest things–we have no idea where he gets his material since his mother and I are rather boring, serious people.

I was on my way back from the mall, having completed some last-minute Christmas shopping, which, truth be told, is the only kind of Christmas shopping I do. The phone rang…

Me: “Hello?”

My wife interjected: “Hi Sebastian!”

Seba: “Oh, mom is with you?”

Me: “Yeah, we are coming back from the mall, what’s up?” 

My wife, interjecting, again: “Where are you?”

Seba: “At the [different] mall. Mom, what do you want for Christmas? I need some ideas.”

My wife: “Get me another one of those coffee cup warmer things that you got me last year! I use it every day at work and I love it! I need one for home.”

Seba: “Bruh.”

Me: “What? That sounds like a brilliant idea!”

Seba: “Bruh. I have a reputation to maintain, I can’t get the same gift again, two years in a row!”

It is true that Sebastian has built a bit of a reputation for giving rather great gifts, stuff my wife and I use virtually every day.

My wife: “OK, then get me some fancy coffee for my new espresso machine that your dad bought for me.” (She bought it for herself, and said it could be from me, thus getting me off the hook for finding a gift.)

Seba: “Bruh. Can I get it at Target?”

Me: “Um, I don’t think so…”

Seba: “Bruh.”

Moments later, we arrived at home, to find his Nathan on the phone with Sebastian, it what seemed like a heated argument. Once he hung up…

Me: “What was that all about?”

Nathan: “He doesn’t know what to get mom and is all stressed out about maintaining he ‘rep’.”

Me: “Oh boy…”

Nathan: “Yeah, his current plan is to get her the same thing I got her and then claim he didn’t know.”

Me: “Genius at work, let him cook.”