My wife has a tough job. A really tough job. It is so tough that it is really difficult for me to ask her about her work since I am afraid of what she might say. As some of you know, my wife is a pediatric oncologist, specializing in brain tumors. When I tell people that, the response is almost universal: ‘Wow, that must be hard.’ Well, that’s not even the ‘worst’ part. She is also the director of the Palliative Care program at the hospital.
Yeah.
The line is rather long out there of people who think my wife is a saint (including Philadelphia Magazine–there she is on the cover!), and I am certainly at the front of the line, but it is next to impossible for me to talk to her about her work. Sure, I can talk to her about her version of workplace dynamics and drama, but about her actual work? Not so much. I feel like an unsupportive schmuck, but every time I overhear something about her job, or I allow myself to contemplate what she encounters on a daily basis, I start to think about our own boys. That usually causes me to either jump on my bike, or if it is at least past nine in the morning, to reach for the corkscrew.
Booby Flay thinking ‘Who is this goofball next to me?’
Every so often, she needs to attend a fundraiser for the program (yes, programs to help critically ill children are woefully underfunded) and she asks me if I would like to go with her. When pressed, she admits that she would really like me to go and since I generally feel guilty about not supporting her on a daily basis, it is not that much of a ‘tough sale’ (although she does feel the need to usually add “There will be wine there!”). The events can also be fun, I guess–I have met a few people (Booby Flay [good guy], Phil Hellmuth [good guy but kind of a jerk when it comes to poker], Steve Martin [just a jerk]).
Phil Hellmuth and Beth Shak
These events take many different forms, from a Halloween costume party, to an event in a private home, to a poker tournament in New York City, but they all have a common element. At some point during the evening, someone (often my wife) gets up and talks about the Palliative Care program. I have heard many versions of the speech and it is quite compelling as you might imagine. This is of course the reason that everyone came to the event and all heads turn toward my wife and the tears start flowing.
There is also no line at the bar.
Yes, I am finally getting to the point of this post: the booze they serve at fund raisers.
Why does the wine have to be so completely horrid? I realize they are trying to keep the costs down so that more of the money raised can go to the cause. I get that. But come on. There are plenty of inexpensive wines that don’t taste like crap out there–I know since I have had some of them! And if the wine makes you want to have another glass, you might get a little loopy and accidentally add a couple of extra zeros to your pledge. A couple of years ago, I organized the wine for such an event and everybody (at least said that they) loved the wine, so I know it can be done.
We have just such an event tonight (assuming that the coming snow Armageddon does not wipe it out), and I will be posting about the wines live from the event (try to contain your excitement).
Until my wife catches me and puts the kibosh on all blogging activities. At which point I will either go gulp some more wine or try to take some surreptitious notes in the bathroom. Either way it is a one way ticket to ‘Funsville’.
the drunken cyclist 
Your wife sounds like an amazing person. My son is an oncology nurse and I always thought that would be so hard. But he says the oncology patients have such an amazing outlook on life and are so upbeat and positive that he really likes working there. But I think you have to be a very special person to do that. Thanks for sharing.
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My wife is rather amazing (although she did marry me so she can’t be all that). How she does what she does is beyond my comprehension and worthy of my endless admiration.
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Your life truly is one of the hardest, Jeff…:)
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Preaching to the choir….
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Wow, Jeff, I have lots and lots of admiration and respect for your wife – I can only imagine what she must go through daily – and no, I am not referring to you 😉 Hat’s off to her and what she does.
Okay, I’ll throw it out there: hat’s off to you too for posting about so delicate a subject in your usual tactful, witty manner: you could definitely work in a crystal glass store without chipping (let alone breaking) anything 😉
I’ll be looking forward to your forthcoming review of a nice glass of Korbel 😉
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What Stefano said, sans Korbel. : )
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I always say that it does not matter what I do–eliminate nuclear weapons, end poverty, balance the country’s budget. My wife will always win. Very liberating! Thanks for the kind words!
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Hmmm, listen, you wrote a great post about what your wife does – write the one about yourself or bribe your wife (I heard B Kosuge might work) into writing one about you – and I’m sure people will be ecstatic! And as a side note – can you actually balance this country’s budget? That would be actually very useful…
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🙂
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Talkavino, you might have just won the best comment of all time! I will suggest it to my wife–what do I do to get her to stop laughing?
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Man, at this point you are on your own… : )
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Your wife is a saint. I’m sure your sense of humor does a lot to support and sustain her on a daily basis.
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‘Your wife is a saint.’
If I had a nickel….
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Bullseye . . . wine at fundraisers, charity auctions, awards dinners, etc. is universally bad. I do the same thing every time I’m at one of those dinners. Walk up to the bar, look at the Little Penguin line-up and suddenly become a beer drinker . . . Salud!
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Yeah, sadly, beer is the way to go. Sob….
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Your wife sounds like a darling! I will definitely hit you up when I visit my cousins in Willow Grove. And, please, can someone make Pinot Grigio the default white wine instead of Chardonnay?!?!?
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My wife is the best and I wonder continually why she is with me. On the other hand, Pinot Grigio? Really?
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