Sebastian is my ten-year-old (whose birthday is tomorrow!) and he says some of the funniest things–we have no idea where he gets his material since his mother and I are rather boring, serious people. 

At Five Guys, Sebastian is required to get at least one vegetable-like topping on his cheeseburger (he would be very happy to have it plain). For a while now, that has been lettuce. Recently, I have tried to implement a rule that he needed to add a second condiment, a rule he vehemently resisted.

Me (standing in line to order): “O.K. What is your second? Mushrooms?”

Sebastian: “Extra lettuce?”

Me: “It needs to be something different. Tomato?”

Seba: “Extra cheese?”

Me: “It needs to at least resemble a vegetable. Pickles?”

Sebastian: “Bacon.”