‘Tis the Season–Year 9

Nine (?!) years ago, I proposed a bit of a take on the Secret Santa idea, the “rules” of which are outlined below. Originally, the idea was to do it in conjunction with Christmas (hence the Secret Santa link), but that proved to be a problem since it can be pretty darned cold in certain areas of the country at that time of year–the first year, I drew Jeff of Food, Wine, Click in Minnesota and had to wait until April to send him his wine! Well, it seems as though I forgot to get this ball rolling this year until now. Thanks to Anatoli of Talk-A-Vino for the gentle reminder!

So here is the original post (with a few edits) from a few years ago (so it is not technically a reblog–which means the insufferable Food and Wine Hedonist can’t give me grief about it*).

I have never been very keen on the whole “Secret Santa” idea, particularly at work. I inevitably get stuck with someone I despise, but nonetheless, try to find “the perfect gift.” It usually is met with “What? Why didn’t you just give me some wine? I thought you were, like, a professional wino or something!”

Photo Credit: homewetbar.com

Given my history, I would get everything you see here, with the exclusion of the two bottles of wine. Photo Credit: homewetbar.com

Then I open my gift and it is a pair of polyester socks with a very drunk looking Santa drinking a glass of wine. The giver starts laughing hysterically and I try to crack a smile, knowing they just spent $15 on something that was going to go right into the trash.

I also can’t help thinking: “What? Why didn’t you just give me some wine? I am, after all, a professional amateur wino!”

So a few years ago, I thought I would propose something to all the rest of you winos out there (professional and amateur alike). What would you say to a “Secret Wino Wine Swap”?

The idea is similar to the Secret Santa thing, but this ensures you will receive wine and not stuck with another crappy corkscrew or worse, one of those Corkcicles. Here are the guidelines:

  1. You send me your address by Monday, November 22nd (to jeff (at) thedrunkencyclist (dot) com). I will then randomly assign you someone to whom you will send wine and someone else who will send wine to you. You will then get an email from me stating to whom you are to send the wine. The person sending you the wine will remain anonymous (until you get the wine, of course).
  2. You select 1-2 bottles of wine that you either purchase or grab from your cellars.
  3. There is a lower limit on the retail price of the wine(s) ($25), which you can of course exceed….
  4. NO SAMPLES (for ethical as well as not wanting to be labeled a complete jack-donkey don’t send any wine you got for free, no matter how cute that critter is on the label).
  5. Limited to people with a U.S. address.
  6. Indicate if you have any strong limitations (e.g., “Red Only” or “No German Riesling!”)
  7. Get the wine shipped so that it will arrive by December 15th (that would be the U.S. version of the holiday–not when those crackpots across the northern border celebrate the stolen idea), if possible.
  8. By the way, the legality of all of this is at best, murky. In the previous eight years of this “event” there have been no reports of run-ins with the FBI, the TTB, or Homeland Security, but should you chose to participate (and we all hope you do), be advised.

Then at the end of the process, we all will have some more fodder for our beloved blogs.

From Etsy

From Etsy

What do you think? Let me know in the comments if you like/hate the idea and if you have any further suggestions/deletions from the above. Again, if you want to participate, you need to send me your address by Monday, November 22nd.

*I am kidding about John (aka FWH)–he is one of the few bloggers I have met, and he is a very nice guy, although it seems as though he is not very active on his blog anymore.


About the drunken cyclist

I have been an occasional cycling tour guide in Europe for the past 20 years, visiting most of the wine regions of France. Through this "job" I developed a love for wine and the stories that often accompany the pulling of a cork. I live in Houston with my lovely wife and two wonderful sons.
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