It has been a while since I have unleashed a good rant, so I figured with the Snowmaggedon bearing down on the mid-Atlantic, it was time to lighten my load a bit.
As many of you know, I have hosted a few wine tasting dinners at a local restaurant here in our little corner of the Cradle of Liberty. There are many aspects to hosting a wine dinner (which I have out lined HERE and HERE), not the least of which is pairing the wines with the courses. While in a perfect world, I would work in close concert with the chef, tasting the wines well ahead of time, discussing flavors and options.
In the real world, the menu is rarely set more than a couple of days before the event, long after the wines have been selected and ordered, and there are usually more than a couple changes even after the menu is “set.” Thus, I scramble, often at the last minute, to match the dishes and the wines.
I admit that the whole pairing process is both fun and frustrating: fun when it works out, frustrating when having to decide which of the two wines left to pair would go best with the newly added lake trout: the Zinfandel or the Petite Sirah.
It seems as though I am not the only one who finds pairing wines to be an enjoyable endeavor. In fact, in the wine geek world, pairings are all the rage. Wine writers wax poetically on the “perfect pairings” for countless dishes, often focusing on the conundrums: asparagus, artichokes, brussels sprouts, and Thanksgiving dinner.
But they do not stop there.
If you are willing to search a bit, you can find a blogger that has paired wine with just about anything you can imagine, and it has gotten a bit out of control.
First, there are foods that you would not normally consider pairing with wine:
Food and Wine actually does a rather good job with pairing holiday cookies since all the pairings are with sweet wines and although I have not tried them all, they do seem to work. Chocolate cookies and Banyuls? You bet.
Then things start to get a little ridiculous. Pairing wine with Halloween candy? If you are grabbing a Siduri with your Starburst or a Cakebread for your candy corn you either have a serious candy addiction, a drinking problem, or both.
Wine Enthusiast offers several pairings for movie theater snacks. I have yet to see a BYO movie theater, but even if they existed, other than champagne and popcorn, there was not a single pairing that made any sense (Twizzlers and a dry rosé? At least they did not suggest to bite off either end of the licorice and use it as a straw to drink the wine. Oh wait, they did.).
Wine Enthusiast also offers up wine pairings with movie genres (e.g., Sauvignon Blanc with Science Fiction), but there is no mention of what to do if you are eating Skittles (Chenin Blanc) while watching a Romantic Comedy (Beaujolais Cru).
Speaking of movies, there are also pairings available for each of the seven Star Wars movies as well as for each of the characters (Princess Leia: Blanc de Noirs Champagne, Luke: Barolo, Darth Vader: Cahors–I feel a drinking game coming on…).
After food, perhaps the second most popular pairing is music. I certainly enjoy pulling a few corks while listening to my collection of Lawrence Welk albums, but if I wanted to expand my musical horizons there are plenty of sites to help: Wine Enthusiast with musical genres, Meg Maker and Lisa Houston combine forces to pair wine with Operas, and Wine Enthusiast (again) pairs a wine with each of the tracks from Adele’s new album (personally, I would need a whole bottle of vodka to get through it, but…).
If it only stopped there.
There have been posts written about pairings with T.V. shows (House of Cards: Louis M. Martini Cabernet), More T.V. (Mad Men: Châteauneuf-du-Pape), Books (East of Eden: Malbec), Sports (MLB Baseball: Sauvignon Blanc or Pinot Grigio), Art (which I really tried to understand, but my head started to hurt), and even moods (feeling passionate? Grab a Pillar Box Reserve Shiraz, apparently).
There was even one moron who paired wine with other wine blogs. Talk about a guy needing a hobby….
The fastest growing “field” for wine pairings, however, has to be pairing wine with cannabis. That’s right. Google “Wine and Pot” or “Wine and Weed” or even “Wine and Marijuana” and you will see what I mean. (Here are a few: The Cannabist, Mary Jane’s Diary, Leafly.)
I thought about going through a few of the suggested pairings just to see how good the pairings were–you know, for research, but then I remembered that I have never smoked pot.
I swear.
Don’t forget the pairing the right wine with your cereal from Gary Vaynerchuk of the Wine Library!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YxwCWrHRSU
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Ha! Gary certainly did some crazy stuff….
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Wine seems to go with everything, the candy one is crazy I hope I never end up in a situation of wine in one hand and sour jelly spiders in the other…
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I saw a pairing somewhere with Sour Patch Kids…. I can’t imagine any beverage complimenting those….
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I’ve taken your gentle ribbings about my lack of posts on wine to heart and am working on a post about a wine pairing. So thanks for giving me an idea for my next pairing post… Because someone’s gotta do it, right?
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No one better than you!
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So what the world is saying is: We need a glass of wine with EVERYTHING?
Funny story, before I had kids (my oldest is a teenager now) I imagined that parents were drinking wine (or, more likely margaritas) during all the long hours of watching youth sports. I had this idea of bringing wine to share with the other moms. So, the real deal is: nope. No alcohol at these things. So, I propose: Wine to Pair with a Missed Free-throw, or Wine to Drink During a Rain Delay, or Bottles to Serve at a Volleyball game…
Ok, did I go too far?
So much fun.
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Ha! That is a great idea! I am usually the coach at my kids’ games, though, so downing wine on the bench or in the dugout might not be all that wise!
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And here all along I just thought you drank a lot….. 🙄
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Ha! I get that a lot!
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We have a theater that serves beer ane wine, but isn’t a BYO. I’m guilty of all sorts of strange pairings. 😊
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How good is the wine they serve there?
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Probably not great, though I couldn’t actually say – they do have microbrews and that’s what we had last time we went.
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And the best Girl Scout Cookies! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/21/girl-scout-cookie-wine-pairings_n_1363143.html or http://observer.com/2015/03/the-best-beer-wine-pairings-for-girl-scout-cookies/
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Darn! I forgot to include those!
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Yeah who exactly WAS that other moron? Great use of white space at the end. 😉
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Yeah, that guy is such a dope….
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Hey, how much snow do you have already? (If you can reply, for all I know you are out of power!!)
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We ended up with about two feet….
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I quite enjoyed this rant!
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Thanks!
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I clicked on the moron’s post – should have known it was you! What would you recommend for a spread of Indian dishes?
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I think the best choice is sparkling wine….
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Riesling!
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Well, we started wth appetizers and Taj Mahal beer, and I served Beaujolais for dinner, but I had an Albariño. I never thought of sparkling wine… Will remember this in the future
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Riesling is great as well, but sparkling wine is always my go to wine, particularly with tough pairings!
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Great post! I like champagne with potato chips. A New Year’s Eve staple in our house 🙂
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Yes! Although I am a sucker for champagne with just about anything!
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Cremant De Bordeaux (from semillon) with peanut butter! 🙂 trust me!
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Wait. You guys get peanut butter over there?
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Wine and weed? The abso-friggin-lutely. The problem? The apres-weed munchie selection. That’s when you need to pay attention to the flavour of Doritos that you’ve stashed. Cool Ranch I find particularly challenging.
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Ha! I never thought of that angle….
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There was a story on NPR about the effect of sound frequency on perceived tastes. Low frequencies make things taste more bitter and high frequencies make things taste more sweet. That adds a whole new dimension to wine and music pairing.
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Really? I missed that segment. What did it say about how the voice of a whiny pre-teen affects your taste? I know one thing: that sound drives me to drink more!
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For a year (2013), I wrote for a website called Plum Deluxe. I didn’t choose the topics, they did (this was paid writing). Here is my entry for your rant. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to write. http://www.plumdeluxe.com/wine-and-easter-candy-pairings
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Egads. I am glad I did not come across that, but I will not judge. Plus, you did not slam the Peep, which are made right here in Philly. That might have caused a problem….
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Every month I was given a topic of their choice. That was extremely hard, especially if it went against my beliefs, like candy and wine.
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You gotta do what you gotta do….
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So I write these sometimes. For myself, or as a ghost writer for some other sites. They’re all in good fun really, it’s a way for folks to play & not get too serious about wine. If I get a usual only-moscato drinker to taste a cab with her chocolate chip cookies, my work is done. I was actually trying to do a food & wine paired with Oscar-nominated movies piece but it was too hard. All this year’s movies are downers, no fun there.
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While it was partially tongue-in-cheek, I think they are getting way out of control. If you are actually drinking wine with Girl Scout cookies or Halloween candy, you might have a problem.
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