Sebastian is our fifteen-year-old son and he says some of the funniest things–we have no idea where he gets his material since his mother and I are rather boring, serious people. 

Not too long ago, Sebastian and I were out of town for another one of his basketball tournaments. As is usually the case, that meant that we were having dinner at a local pizza joint. 

Sebastian, perusing the menu: “What is ‘No Substitutions’?

Me: “It means you can’t swap out any of the toppings on the pizzas. For example, see the Porkscription pizza, with pepperoni, Italian sausage, pulled pork, and bacon? Let’s say you wanted to swap out the pulled pork for onions, you couldn’t do that.”

Seba: “But what if you didn’t eat pork?”