Sundays Are For Sebastian #191

I have received many requests over the last few days about information regarding charities that are providing assistance to those affected by Hurricane Harvey. While there are many worthy outlets, I have set up a donation page with Texas Children’s Hospital to help the families with extremely sick children whose homes have been severely damaged by the storm. 100% of the donations go directly to the families (full disclosure: my wife is the Director of the Palliative Care team at the hospital). LINK.

Sebastian is my nine-year old and he says some of the funniest things–we have no idea where he gets his material since his mother and I are rather boring, serious people.

I came home from a  ride the other day, ready to watch the big game. I went to the living room to find the boys watching some pre-teen drivel, so I retreated to my bedroom. I turned on the set to find that one of the boys had activated the Closed Caption feature the last time they were in there watching T.V. (we have far too many screens already in the house, why they feel the need to also use our room is beside me).

After a good ten minutes trying to turn the damned Closed Captions off, I blew a gasket….

Me: “Who was in here watching T.V.?!?!”

Sebastian came running upstairs, already with some terror in his eyes (which I found very satisfying, I have to say).

Seba: “I was, sorry.”

Me: “Why do you insist to turn on the Closed Captions? They drive me nuts! If you are going to watch T.V. in here, you are forbidden from using the Closed Captions! I can never remember how to turn them off! I have already spent ten minutes trying to figure it out! Turn them off, right away!!!”

Without hesitation, Sebastian, with tears welling in his eyes from my onslaught (again, I was rather glad about that), took the remote control and as he pushed a button he said:

“Turn off Closed Captions.”

The closed captioning disappeared, he sheepishly handed me the remote, very apologetically, and left the room.

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About the drunken cyclist

I have been an occasional cycling tour guide in Europe for the past 20 years, visiting most of the wine regions of France. Through this "job" I developed a love for wine and the stories that often accompany the pulling of a cork. I live in Houston with my lovely wife and two wonderful sons.
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4 Responses to Sundays Are For Sebastian #191

  1. robgradens says:

    Kill your TV. There’s nothing like a good book. If you want free books, go to Project Gutenberg. I used to proofread for them. Public domain books are wonderful. Please check out Jane Austen’s _Pride and Prejudice_. You will fall in love with Elizabeth Bennet and Fitzwilliam Darcy. I wrote my AP exam essay on this book. Out of five, I only got a four, but I ducked out of Writing 121 and 122 and Introduction to Literature. That was 15 college credits. I have a cool story for you. This happened in Scotland. There was a man who was a working class hero who said he would have no books in his house. His daughter, Kayleigh, was curious and downloaded 100 classics on her Nintendo. Her dad never suspected. That always makes me laugh. It’s funny, because classic literature was out, but Nintendo was OK. You tell me. What is wrong with that picture? Cyclist, if you want to be wise, buy yourself a copy of _Ulysses_ and read it. Get the 1922 text published by Oxford with 300 pp of notes. If you can’t, then send me your physical address and I will send it to you. You don’t owe me anything. I’ll do this because I want to share the beauty that is James Joyce. Actually, you should start with _Dubliners_. Joyce was heavily influenced by Lord Byron. Joyce was influenced by all the romantic poets. Oh god, if you’ve never read Percy Bysshe Shelley, now is the time to start. I have the perfect Norton Critical Edition for you. Shelley wrote “Ode to the West Wind.” It closes with, “Oh wind / If winter comes, can spring be far behind?” He died when he was only 29. It was a boating accident, and he drowned. I’d better go. I urge you to urge Sebastian to read books. Again, Project Gutenberg is a great resource. Take care, Cyclist. I your name Jeff? I have a wonderful brother named Jeff. He is an extreme extravert, and nothing can stop him. BTW, do you like music? There is no other band like Rush. Tell me now, and I will send you the files for _Permanent Waves_. I’ve done this a great number of times. It’s very easy to attach files. Anyway, have a good Sunday, and say hi to Sebastian for me. I am your literary friend, Robert.

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  2. Myas says:

    Hahahaha…. smart kid…. I trust there’s a bathroom in the master bedroom to wash the egg off your face…?

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  3. dwdirwin says:

    Guilty as charged on the closed captioning…of course, my reasoning is my aging ears have a harder time hearing, so to keep the sound from being too loud when everyone is asleep, I use it. And it drives Derek nuts when he goes to watch tv and it’s still on-haha! I love the voice command function on the remote but have never thought to use it to turn the captioning on and off (duh) so thanks Seba!

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  4. jimvanbergen says:

    As someone who watches a LOT of foreign films and shows in English with string accents, I do enjoy closed captioning…most of the time. 🙂 Your rant = priceless.

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